Wow. I haven’t been here in a while. Sorry about that. Helmet Week 2008 really took the wind out of me.
But you are the wind beneath my wings.
Seriously. You are.
Helmet Week is over and I am paying for it dearly right now. I am so sick from the abuse my body (and mind) endured during said week, and all the…uh, stuff I may or may not have…uh, ingested. Dig?
I got effed the eff up. For real. And now I am having the flu and trying to habituate and adjust back into normal life. Not cool dude. So not cool.
On top of that I have a ridiculous amount of work to do now. You know how I got promoted before I left? Well, it seems that they expect me to do more work since they’re now paying me more. WTF is that about, right? Did I just type WTF?
(OMG, I just LOL’ed in my pants.)
And technically, since the paperwork hasn’t gone through, they aren’t paying me more yet. I’m just working harder and being sicker. And not in a good way.
The past two days (wow, has it only been two days since I came back to earth? Help me) have been so rough, it has got me thinking - which is generally pretty dangerous. Why should I work? I dislike it immensely I think. I would so much rather not do anything than have to wake up early, commute (on the bane of my existence, the F train, no less), work, rinse, repeat.
The odd thing is: I have an AWESOME job. I mean everything about it is great as far as jobs go – other than the whole waking up, commuting to get here, etc part. I have the best boss ever, the people I work with are fantastic, I get paid enough to not be homeless, and I don’t ever stay late. Like ever. My job rules; I just dislike working in general.
Working after two weeks of super extreme party patrol and being sick when you come back is even worse. Trust me, I died a little this week.
I have also been thinking about the path I am on. The path I used to be on. The path so many people end up taking in life...
How come so many people follow the cookie cutter path? School > Work > Marriage > Kids > Being old and gross and probably playing a lot of golf (Encore: Tweeprise>Death)?
I used to live such a righteous and groovy life. I followed the Phish band; I skied and threw myself off of massive cliffs everyday before drinking myself into an ulcer. Now I work in a cubicle?
I actually got excited today about moving into my new cube.
Let me repeat that: Cube*.
I shouldn’t be psyched about that, should I? I used to get psyched about a big second set opener, or a 14 inch snowstorm overnight (that’s what she said!). Now it’s come to this?
I remember thinking about how I would never be one of those people who ran the rat race and sold out to the man. Shit, I am like one step away from becoming the man now. And not in a good way.
How the shit did this happen?
What do I do now? Do I bail on all this (all this what? I don't have THAT much going for me)? Do I move back to Colorado and start skiing again? Maybe a beach in Indonesia? I mean, Phish is coming back soon... I am so worried I am going to spend my whole life running on this hamster wheel and not realizing I wasted my life doing until I am old and gross.
Or have I realized it already?
I don’t know if I am moving down this path because that’s what people are “supposed” to do, and since I’ve never been one for doing the things I am supposed to do, I am trying to make up for it now. Or if I was on the cool path and lost a fucking wheel and have veered onto the “normal” path of supposedness somehow.
OMG, WTF… I am having an existential meltdown. I used to be cool and awesome. Now I am totally in the Matrix. And not in a good way.
Morpheus, hook me up with the blue pill dude, stat.
Ten days of relentless helmetness (yeah it rhymes fool!) and I start questioning it all. Or maybe it’s the three days of helmetlessness since then. But man, I either need to find a way to never work or start thinking seriously about what I really want to do in life. Actually those things might be one in the same.
Hi, I missed you.
*My new desk is actually pretty sweet. I’m just saying…
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Helmet Week 2008
Helmet week 2008 is in full swing. I thought I would be posting more during this long stretch of time off of work, but obviously I have been absent. Sorry about that. I really do still love you and cherish our relationship.
You're not still mad are you?
I could give you all sorts of excuses about how I've been busy taking advantage of not working and how I'm accomplishing all those things I don't normally have time to do. But the truth is I am hanging on to the last few brain cells I own right now.
Helmet week, for those that don't already know, is that grand week or so between Christmas and New Years when people are feeling festive, people are in town visiting and ready to party. I love this stretch at the end of the year. I pretty much go nuts.
Helmet week is official. So far I've blacked out (twice), fallen over, eaten ice cream for breakfast, stayed up for more than 24 hours, and puked in a rental car. Game on.
Jesus, I just reread that. If anyone knows a good rehab facility please let me know, it might be that time.
I'll be back to posting more regularly after I relearn how to read and write.
Happy New Year and don't forget to wear your helmets!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Tits McGee is on Vacation
Okay, so today is my first day off of like twelve and I am in my office. Lame. Although, it's this kind of work ethic that gets me promoted so often.
No it isn't. I actually made myself laugh by claiming I have some sort of desirable work ethic.
Because I don't.
I wanted to give you a nice holiday send off. I plan to spend the next couple weeks killing brain cells and sleeping. I am sure I'll be updating here since I really won't have a whole lot on my plate in terms of, uh, working and stuff.
You know how it is.
Oh, you don't? Well, then I'll let you know how my two week vacation goes; hey, you can read about it while you're at work.
Sorry. That wasn't cool. I just wanted to make sure you know how awesome I am for getting so many days off in a row.
Truth be told, I am actually planning to work on Monday. And since I'm technically working today (going over some of the transition stuff for the new position), feel free to call me out for being both a liar and kind of a (total) dick.
I also wanted to say thanks for all the nice comments about what happened last week. I had a really tough time dealing with it all, and it was nice to know people were thinking of him and of me. So thank you for keeping me in mind and sending all the good vibes this way.
Plus, this week, I kind of want to continue putting down my thoughts on the direction I want to take my life in. While Lottery Winner seems like the best course of action, it doesn't seem the most likely. And I have heard that people around this age (28 in case you're counting) sometimes begin to question this kind of thing, so maybe it isn't just me?
Seriously though, I used to be so cool. And now, well...
(sad)
Okay, so have a great day lighting the Menorah, opening gifts, and hoping to catch a fat guy B&E.
(That's slang for "breaking and entering" for those of you who've never been in "the joint")
And enjoy celebrating the birthday of a dude my people killed like 2000 years ago and stuff.
Merry Christmahanukkah!
No it isn't. I actually made myself laugh by claiming I have some sort of desirable work ethic.
Because I don't.
I wanted to give you a nice holiday send off. I plan to spend the next couple weeks killing brain cells and sleeping. I am sure I'll be updating here since I really won't have a whole lot on my plate in terms of, uh, working and stuff.
You know how it is.
Oh, you don't? Well, then I'll let you know how my two week vacation goes; hey, you can read about it while you're at work.
Sorry. That wasn't cool. I just wanted to make sure you know how awesome I am for getting so many days off in a row.
Truth be told, I am actually planning to work on Monday. And since I'm technically working today (going over some of the transition stuff for the new position), feel free to call me out for being both a liar and kind of a (total) dick.
I also wanted to say thanks for all the nice comments about what happened last week. I had a really tough time dealing with it all, and it was nice to know people were thinking of him and of me. So thank you for keeping me in mind and sending all the good vibes this way.
Plus, this week, I kind of want to continue putting down my thoughts on the direction I want to take my life in. While Lottery Winner seems like the best course of action, it doesn't seem the most likely. And I have heard that people around this age (28 in case you're counting) sometimes begin to question this kind of thing, so maybe it isn't just me?
Seriously though, I used to be so cool. And now, well...
(sad)
Okay, so have a great day lighting the Menorah, opening gifts, and hoping to catch a fat guy B&E.
(That's slang for "breaking and entering" for those of you who've never been in "the joint")
And enjoy celebrating the birthday of a dude my people killed like 2000 years ago and stuff.
Merry Christmahanukkah!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I'm kind of a big deal... People know me... Um...I'm very important... I have many leatherbound books
I don't want to work anymore.
Not like here, because I actually have a sweet job that, as far as jobs go, is great. I work with amazing people, I have the best boss I have ever worked for, and my job isn't terribly difficult or stressful most of the time* (as you can tell from the amount of time I spend on here). I'm just saying, the ideal career path for me is Lottery Winner.
I mean that I don't want to work at all anymore. Ever. I don't want to exert any amount of effort doing anything that isn't completely pleasurable or fun.
I want to be extremely rich and have the freedom to do anything. Or nothing. I want to have tons of money without all that "hard work" hoo-haw that often accompanies such a thing. I just want to have all that money to allow myself to go wherever I want, do whatever I want and to be comfortable enough not to worry about what I am spending my money on (like now, how I have to worry about stupid bills and stuff).
Now, I talk about this often and inevitably someone will say, as I am lamenting about how I dislike waking up before noon and having to "work" all the time at my not-that-difficult job, something like, "Oh, but I bet you'd get bored."
No. Trust me, I wouldn't.
I would be extremely content to wake up late everyday, have some breakfast, maybe work out, read a book, watch TV make sure the interweb is still there... Or just hop on a plane to a beach or to some insane mountain paradise whenever I started to feel the slightest inkling of being bored.
Trust me; bored I would not soon become.
Other times people will say, "You wouldn't work? Oh, I bet eventually (when you get bored) you'd volunteer."
Um, remember I said I wanted to have a shitload of money?
Volunteer? People with money donate, they don't volunteer. Volunteering is for people who aren't drinking tropical drinks out of a coconut on a beach somewhere before they head off on a ski trip in South America the next day. Volunteer, pffft, how about I volunteer to write you a big check?
I am not so materialistic as this may sound, I am just really averse to working hard at anything. I guess some people might call that laziness, but I feel like I am just being ambitious about chasing the dream of not working hard.
(And actually I have like 12 days off starting tomorrow, which I am ridiculously psyched about. I plan no going on a massive bender. Helmets will be required.)
I know if I found something I was super passionate about and could make that my career, I would do it, and it wouldn't necessarily feel like work. But I don't know what that is right now. I don't know what would drive me like that at this point. And frankly, I have done that sort of thing with my life (see: following that wacky Phish band, skiing) and that idea shifts and seems to change every few years. Which professionally is rough, because once I became established at something, I would feel that urge to change gears again.
I am sort of lost right now about who I want to be and what I want to do in life. I had a near breakdown about this while issue a few months ago, and almost lost my marbles. I need to figure it out, and find the direction I am passionate about so that I have a way to point myself in. You know, in case the whole getting rich without working thing doesn't pan out soon.
Any ideas?
*I literally got pulled into my bosses office and promoted (for the second time in two months) halfway through writing that sentence. WTF? Am I that awesome? Clearly the answer is yes.
Not like here, because I actually have a sweet job that, as far as jobs go, is great. I work with amazing people, I have the best boss I have ever worked for, and my job isn't terribly difficult or stressful most of the time* (as you can tell from the amount of time I spend on here). I'm just saying, the ideal career path for me is Lottery Winner.
I mean that I don't want to work at all anymore. Ever. I don't want to exert any amount of effort doing anything that isn't completely pleasurable or fun.
I want to be extremely rich and have the freedom to do anything. Or nothing. I want to have tons of money without all that "hard work" hoo-haw that often accompanies such a thing. I just want to have all that money to allow myself to go wherever I want, do whatever I want and to be comfortable enough not to worry about what I am spending my money on (like now, how I have to worry about stupid bills and stuff).
Now, I talk about this often and inevitably someone will say, as I am lamenting about how I dislike waking up before noon and having to "work" all the time at my not-that-difficult job, something like, "Oh, but I bet you'd get bored."
No. Trust me, I wouldn't.
I would be extremely content to wake up late everyday, have some breakfast, maybe work out, read a book, watch TV make sure the interweb is still there... Or just hop on a plane to a beach or to some insane mountain paradise whenever I started to feel the slightest inkling of being bored.
Trust me; bored I would not soon become.
Other times people will say, "You wouldn't work? Oh, I bet eventually (when you get bored) you'd volunteer."
Um, remember I said I wanted to have a shitload of money?
Volunteer? People with money donate, they don't volunteer. Volunteering is for people who aren't drinking tropical drinks out of a coconut on a beach somewhere before they head off on a ski trip in South America the next day. Volunteer, pffft, how about I volunteer to write you a big check?
I am not so materialistic as this may sound, I am just really averse to working hard at anything. I guess some people might call that laziness, but I feel like I am just being ambitious about chasing the dream of not working hard.
(And actually I have like 12 days off starting tomorrow, which I am ridiculously psyched about. I plan no going on a massive bender. Helmets will be required.)
I know if I found something I was super passionate about and could make that my career, I would do it, and it wouldn't necessarily feel like work. But I don't know what that is right now. I don't know what would drive me like that at this point. And frankly, I have done that sort of thing with my life (see: following that wacky Phish band, skiing) and that idea shifts and seems to change every few years. Which professionally is rough, because once I became established at something, I would feel that urge to change gears again.
I am sort of lost right now about who I want to be and what I want to do in life. I had a near breakdown about this while issue a few months ago, and almost lost my marbles. I need to figure it out, and find the direction I am passionate about so that I have a way to point myself in. You know, in case the whole getting rich without working thing doesn't pan out soon.
Any ideas?
*I literally got pulled into my bosses office and promoted (for the second time in two months) halfway through writing that sentence. WTF? Am I that awesome? Clearly the answer is yes.
Friday, December 19, 2008
I'm in a Glass Case of Emotion
I lost a good friend yesterday in an avalanche. I have been back and forth about whether or not to even mention it here, I don't want to make it super public or feel like I am exploiting him by writing about it, but I wanted to let you know why I wasn't writing much lately and I feel like I need to get this out. Technically, they haven't found his body yet, they may not find it until spring when the snow melts. It was a huge slide - a five foot crown that stretched about 40 feet. Those of you who know about snow science and avalanches know a five foot shelf is big.
My friend was a guy who never got a pass to the ski area and rode almost exclusively in the backcountry. Maybe he wasn't the most cautious guy ever, but he seemed to always have a grip on what he was getting into. So why was he out after getting three feet of snow in less than a week? "Well, you know ____" is all anyone can say. That's just how he did things.
He left on Wednesday morning to go ride a chute that sees a fair amount of backcountry traffic, albeit not lately with the storm cycle they've been in. Yesterday, when he hadn't yet returned people went to check his house, check the trailhead... He hadn't come back and his bike was still out there, where he had left it. Search and Rescue said they think they found the spot on the top of the chute where he dropped in, and just below that a huge fracture from the avalanche he most likely triggered. S&R, along with most of my friends, including my old roommates, are going out today to try and find his body.
I am crushed. The only thing I keep trying to tell myself is that he sucked every ounce of life out the time he had here. Homeboy made every day count and had more fun than anyone else doing it. He really enjoyed every day and did what made him happy. Always. He didn't have a big bank account, he didn't have a serious career, but he was a professional at enjoying what life and the outdoors had to offer. This was the guy you could always count on to be a partner in crime when you needed him to be; to climb a mountain in June to ski a 60 foot snow path that hadn't melted; to go to the bar and shithoused on a Monday night when you needed to do it. In short, he was just always there for anyone, anytime, and he loved it - no matter what it was. But no matter how much I tell myself that he enjoyed life and got a lot out of it, it still really tough to think that he won't get to do any of that stuff again, and he got shorted on a lot of years.
When he lived on our couch (for like 6 months) he and I would stay up every night, drink like 10-15 beers each - sometimes we would see who could slam a whole bottle faster, fun times that "adults" don't normally have on a regular basis outside a fraternity - and watch Anchorman. So I am going to put up a clip this week with some Anchorman moments for him. I know he would appreciate this, he's kind of a big deal.
My friend was a guy who never got a pass to the ski area and rode almost exclusively in the backcountry. Maybe he wasn't the most cautious guy ever, but he seemed to always have a grip on what he was getting into. So why was he out after getting three feet of snow in less than a week? "Well, you know ____" is all anyone can say. That's just how he did things.
He left on Wednesday morning to go ride a chute that sees a fair amount of backcountry traffic, albeit not lately with the storm cycle they've been in. Yesterday, when he hadn't yet returned people went to check his house, check the trailhead... He hadn't come back and his bike was still out there, where he had left it. Search and Rescue said they think they found the spot on the top of the chute where he dropped in, and just below that a huge fracture from the avalanche he most likely triggered. S&R, along with most of my friends, including my old roommates, are going out today to try and find his body.
I am crushed. The only thing I keep trying to tell myself is that he sucked every ounce of life out the time he had here. Homeboy made every day count and had more fun than anyone else doing it. He really enjoyed every day and did what made him happy. Always. He didn't have a big bank account, he didn't have a serious career, but he was a professional at enjoying what life and the outdoors had to offer. This was the guy you could always count on to be a partner in crime when you needed him to be; to climb a mountain in June to ski a 60 foot snow path that hadn't melted; to go to the bar and shithoused on a Monday night when you needed to do it. In short, he was just always there for anyone, anytime, and he loved it - no matter what it was. But no matter how much I tell myself that he enjoyed life and got a lot out of it, it still really tough to think that he won't get to do any of that stuff again, and he got shorted on a lot of years.
When he lived on our couch (for like 6 months) he and I would stay up every night, drink like 10-15 beers each - sometimes we would see who could slam a whole bottle faster, fun times that "adults" don't normally have on a regular basis outside a fraternity - and watch Anchorman. So I am going to put up a clip this week with some Anchorman moments for him. I know he would appreciate this, he's kind of a big deal.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Oh Think Twice, it's Another Day For You And Me in Paradise
I am kind of bummed today. I am moving out of my apartment in February. My roommate is moving to Brazil to live with his girlfriend and I cannot deal with the (nearly one hour) commute to and from my office anymore. So it's time to go.
About a month ago a good friend of mine, we'll call him E, mentioned that he had a close family friend, who we'll call W, with an apartment in Gramercy that she owned but didn't live in anymore because she got engaged a while ago. Her and her parents were bleeding maintenance fees every month and haven't been able to sell it (something about the economy?). So here they had a fully furnished one-bedroom apartment in a really nice neighborhood in Manhattan and no one living in it. They also didn't want just anybody living there, they wanted a family friend, a nice Jewish boy (or girl) to live there if anybody at all was going to. Being the upstanding citizen that I am, I offered to move in and pay a ridiculously low rent (all that I could afford, actually a little more than I could afford). They liked the idea. And even though I could only afford a rent that was $200 less than they wanted, they figured that they weren't going to put it on the market as a rental, and here I was offering to rent it for more than they pay in maintenance fees.
I've always felt like I need to live in Manhattan at some point while I'm still young to get the full NYC experience. As much as I love Brooklyn, I enjoy the city a lot and I feel like I need to live there soon. Also, I really, really loathe the fucking F train and am so over riding it every time I need to go somewhere.
The other night E called and said everything looked good, W's parents (who help pay the maintenance fees) were into the idea and so was she. All I needed to do was go through the paperwork stuff, etc.
Yes!!
From my new apartment in Gramercy I can walk to work in less than half the time it now takes me to ride a slow, crowded subway (I cannot express to you how intense my hatred is for the F train. If I could karate chop a subway line in the throat, I would do so until my hand broke and my arm fell off. That is grossly understating my contempt for the F. Fuckingashitfuck.). I am also living much closer to my favorite bars and restaurants, my kind-of-girlfriend-kind-of-not-girlfriend-kind-of-not-sure-right-now, the village, work, my job, work, my office; And I am in a great part of the city.
Except I didn't actually get the apartment.
Yesterday E called back and said W's best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of three years and that she was moving out and into W's place. So I'm shit out of luck on my sweet new pad in Gramercy.
Awesome. Super duper.
The thing is that I can't really afford to cough up an insane amount of money right now to move somewhere else (broker fee, first/last/security = like $4000+). This place in Gramercy would have been nice (in addition to all the aforementioned reasons) because I could have paid the first month's rent and paid the security deposit over the course of a couple months.
Now I have six weeks to find a new place. I have like $200 in my bank account (sadly that is actually true) and I really was looking forward to living alone. In a sick location. It's not that I don't make enough money, it's that I excel at spending it so fast. I like to eat at nice restaurants and I make ridiculous impulse purchases all the time (who doesn't need three iPods and an authentic Karate Kid headband to go with those new shoes you'll only wear once?). Saving money is a foreign concept to me, like seeing boobies everyday or soap.
I did however just recently do the math on how much I can save if I stop buying coffee and lunch everyday. Holy effing luxury tax Batman. You want to feel bad about yourself? Add that up and realize the percentage of your income that goes towards keeping yourself fed and caffeinated at work everyday. Last night I made food for the entire week's lunches and I started today drinking the coffee in my office.
All I need now is a retainer, a pocket protector and a lunchbox and I will be a full blow nerd.
To live alone at this point is not an option unless I start moonlighting as a male prostitute (and let's face it, I'm not nearly attractive enough and I have far too much body hair to make real money at it) . I am more than likely going to have to move into a share situation and hope that I don't get some skin-eating psycho as a roommate.
I am crushed that this place in Gramercy didn't work out. Devastated in fact. I knew it was too good to be true and I tried not to get my hopes up, but the night before it fell through I gave in and got excited (when E told me it was happening). So now I start the apartment hunt, which is going to suck. I've already talked to a couple brokers - a situation which I can't afford the fees for anyway - and I've been cruising Craig's List for apartments since yesterday afternoon. Apartment hunting already sucks actually, and I'm realizing quickly that I have a serious cash flow problem (being that I'm broke and all, but I do have some mighty cool shit to put on eBay). I might have to start selling my nude photos to Jizz Hut, but I doubt they'd be worth much.
I should let you know right now that I may be homeless pretty soon, so if I stop blogging for a bit it's because I can't find a place to plug in my laptop outside while relaxing in a cardboard box. If you don't hear from me, worry.
So, shamelessly I'll close by asking if anyone knows of a super sweet deal on a nice (read: standing, with a roof and running water) apartment in NYC. If so, please email me or let me know how to get it.
Oh wait... Actually, just start sending me money so I can afford a really nice place and/or pay a broker's fee. Yeah, that's a much better idea.
About a month ago a good friend of mine, we'll call him E, mentioned that he had a close family friend, who we'll call W, with an apartment in Gramercy that she owned but didn't live in anymore because she got engaged a while ago. Her and her parents were bleeding maintenance fees every month and haven't been able to sell it (something about the economy?). So here they had a fully furnished one-bedroom apartment in a really nice neighborhood in Manhattan and no one living in it. They also didn't want just anybody living there, they wanted a family friend, a nice Jewish boy (or girl) to live there if anybody at all was going to. Being the upstanding citizen that I am, I offered to move in and pay a ridiculously low rent (all that I could afford, actually a little more than I could afford). They liked the idea. And even though I could only afford a rent that was $200 less than they wanted, they figured that they weren't going to put it on the market as a rental, and here I was offering to rent it for more than they pay in maintenance fees.
I've always felt like I need to live in Manhattan at some point while I'm still young to get the full NYC experience. As much as I love Brooklyn, I enjoy the city a lot and I feel like I need to live there soon. Also, I really, really loathe the fucking F train and am so over riding it every time I need to go somewhere.
The other night E called and said everything looked good, W's parents (who help pay the maintenance fees) were into the idea and so was she. All I needed to do was go through the paperwork stuff, etc.
Yes!!
From my new apartment in Gramercy I can walk to work in less than half the time it now takes me to ride a slow, crowded subway (I cannot express to you how intense my hatred is for the F train. If I could karate chop a subway line in the throat, I would do so until my hand broke and my arm fell off. That is grossly understating my contempt for the F. Fuckingashitfuck.). I am also living much closer to my favorite bars and restaurants, my kind-of-girlfriend-kind-of-not-girlfriend-kind-of-not-sure-right-now, the village, work, my job, work, my office; And I am in a great part of the city.
Except I didn't actually get the apartment.
Yesterday E called back and said W's best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of three years and that she was moving out and into W's place. So I'm shit out of luck on my sweet new pad in Gramercy.
Awesome. Super duper.
The thing is that I can't really afford to cough up an insane amount of money right now to move somewhere else (broker fee, first/last/security = like $4000+). This place in Gramercy would have been nice (in addition to all the aforementioned reasons) because I could have paid the first month's rent and paid the security deposit over the course of a couple months.
Now I have six weeks to find a new place. I have like $200 in my bank account (sadly that is actually true) and I really was looking forward to living alone. In a sick location. It's not that I don't make enough money, it's that I excel at spending it so fast. I like to eat at nice restaurants and I make ridiculous impulse purchases all the time (who doesn't need three iPods and an authentic Karate Kid headband to go with those new shoes you'll only wear once?). Saving money is a foreign concept to me, like seeing boobies everyday or soap.
I did however just recently do the math on how much I can save if I stop buying coffee and lunch everyday. Holy effing luxury tax Batman. You want to feel bad about yourself? Add that up and realize the percentage of your income that goes towards keeping yourself fed and caffeinated at work everyday. Last night I made food for the entire week's lunches and I started today drinking the coffee in my office.
All I need now is a retainer, a pocket protector and a lunchbox and I will be a full blow nerd.
To live alone at this point is not an option unless I start moonlighting as a male prostitute (and let's face it, I'm not nearly attractive enough and I have far too much body hair to make real money at it) . I am more than likely going to have to move into a share situation and hope that I don't get some skin-eating psycho as a roommate.
I am crushed that this place in Gramercy didn't work out. Devastated in fact. I knew it was too good to be true and I tried not to get my hopes up, but the night before it fell through I gave in and got excited (when E told me it was happening). So now I start the apartment hunt, which is going to suck. I've already talked to a couple brokers - a situation which I can't afford the fees for anyway - and I've been cruising Craig's List for apartments since yesterday afternoon. Apartment hunting already sucks actually, and I'm realizing quickly that I have a serious cash flow problem (being that I'm broke and all, but I do have some mighty cool shit to put on eBay). I might have to start selling my nude photos to Jizz Hut, but I doubt they'd be worth much.
I should let you know right now that I may be homeless pretty soon, so if I stop blogging for a bit it's because I can't find a place to plug in my laptop outside while relaxing in a cardboard box. If you don't hear from me, worry.
So, shamelessly I'll close by asking if anyone knows of a super sweet deal on a nice (read: standing, with a roof and running water) apartment in NYC. If so, please email me or let me know how to get it.
Oh wait... Actually, just start sending me money so I can afford a really nice place and/or pay a broker's fee. Yeah, that's a much better idea.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Looks Like We Made It...
Holy shit I did it! I made it (almost)! I am this much closer to being famous (well, more than I already am). Someone found my blog though a search engine. Yep, that's right. Not just anyone gets mentioned on those things, you know.
I know I owe you the story of the drunk teamster and who called me a fruitcake and whose best friend invented something you're using right now. But I have to share something else with you first. Something awesome.
(And honestly the teamster story isn't really even that interesting.)
I just recently started to keep track of the stats on this blog; sorry if that freaks you out. But because you and I have always been about having an open, honest relationship, you should know that every time you view this blog I get your home address, telephone number, social security number, naked pictures, etc.
Or, you know, I can see that "someone" viewed it.
(so feel free to email me those naked pictures)
I can also see where that viewer was referred from or if they found me in a search engine. Since I began checking the stats about viewers I have had exactly one person find us here through a search engine.
It was some search engine called "Google."
Yeah, I've never heard of it either.
But dude, you're getting boring. I thought you said something about awesomeness? Well, how's this for awesome?
Anybody want to guess what that person typed in to Google to find this blog? C'mon go ahead...
Give up?
"Jizz Hut"
I shit you not, the one person who has ever found If Your Feet Aren't on the Ground through something other than another blog, or 20sb, or their own reader or whatever, typed in "Jizz Hut" and landed here.
My first reaction was, "awesome, someone new found my blog. And through Google no less. I really am on the road to becoming famous."
I make fun of myself for being immature and having an inappropriate sense of humor. But the fact that someone actually typed in "Jizz Hut" and was directed to this blog is fucking awesome.
I totally win.
Actually just the fact that someone typed "Jizz Hut" into their Google search bar is funny enough.
Jizz Hut? Why here?
And then there's the obvious thought. Who is searching the Internet for Jizz Hut and why? ...Actually I don't think I want to know.
Is Jizz Hut like Pizza Hut?
Well, no, it isn't. I Googled it myself (just now actually, probably shouldn't have done that from work) to see if I came (heehee) up, and it turns out that Jizz Hut is an adult website.
It's probably pretty classy too, with a name like that.
And class is what we've always been all about here.
Jizz Hut... Man, I rule.
I know I owe you the story of the drunk teamster and who called me a fruitcake and whose best friend invented something you're using right now. But I have to share something else with you first. Something awesome.
(And honestly the teamster story isn't really even that interesting.)
I just recently started to keep track of the stats on this blog; sorry if that freaks you out. But because you and I have always been about having an open, honest relationship, you should know that every time you view this blog I get your home address, telephone number, social security number, naked pictures, etc.
Or, you know, I can see that "someone" viewed it.
(so feel free to email me those naked pictures)
I can also see where that viewer was referred from or if they found me in a search engine. Since I began checking the stats about viewers I have had exactly one person find us here through a search engine.
It was some search engine called "Google."
Yeah, I've never heard of it either.
But dude, you're getting boring. I thought you said something about awesomeness? Well, how's this for awesome?
Anybody want to guess what that person typed in to Google to find this blog? C'mon go ahead...
Give up?
"Jizz Hut"
I shit you not, the one person who has ever found If Your Feet Aren't on the Ground through something other than another blog, or 20sb, or their own reader or whatever, typed in "Jizz Hut" and landed here.
My first reaction was, "awesome, someone new found my blog. And through Google no less. I really am on the road to becoming famous."
I make fun of myself for being immature and having an inappropriate sense of humor. But the fact that someone actually typed in "Jizz Hut" and was directed to this blog is fucking awesome.
I totally win.
Actually just the fact that someone typed "Jizz Hut" into their Google search bar is funny enough.
Jizz Hut? Why here?
And then there's the obvious thought. Who is searching the Internet for Jizz Hut and why? ...Actually I don't think I want to know.
Is Jizz Hut like Pizza Hut?
Well, no, it isn't. I Googled it myself (just now actually, probably shouldn't have done that from work) to see if I came (heehee) up, and it turns out that Jizz Hut is an adult website.
It's probably pretty classy too, with a name like that.
And class is what we've always been all about here.
Jizz Hut... Man, I rule.
Monday, December 15, 2008
What to do When Your Facebook Gets Hacked
The following is a transcript from a Facebook chat my friend Bo had with the person who hacked our friend Jenn's account. Just so you know, Bo and I are basically non-sexual soulmates. He has been one of my closest friends for more than half of my life, and we tend to think using the same brain. Except he is much, much funnier than I am. And more talented at stuff.
To give you a bit of context, Jenn is a friend of ours from high school who I am vaguely in touch with (through Facebook) although we more or less lost touch, like most of the people I went to high school with (with the exception of a select few). Bo and her, both still living in Minneapolis, are still friends and in touch more often than she and I, but not super close.
I didn't want to edit the text, and it is from a chat, so bear with any spaces missing or misspellings, etc. This is just so damn funny I couldn't not post it on here.
The chat Bo had with whoever hacked Jenn's Facebook account:
Jennifer
hi
9:06am
Bo
Hey you!
9:06am
Jennifer
am in a mess
9:07am
Bo
what sort of mess?
9:09am
Jennifer
am stuck here in London
9:09am
Bo
well that's not so bad. How are you stuck?
9:10am
Jennifer
i was robbed in my hotel room
9:10am
Bo
scary
you ok?
9:11am
Jennifer
am ok
9:12am
Bo
they get your passport?
9:12am
Jennifer
nope am glad my passport is secure all my belongings including my wallet was stolen at gunpoint
9:13am
Bo
jesus, he came into your hotel?
9:14am
Jennifer
they came
4 of them
9:14am
Bo
Brits?
9:15am
Jennifer
dont know
but the police told us that they are russians
9:15am
Bo
are you alone there?
9:16am
Jennifer
am here with my husband
9:17am
Bo
neither of you hurt?
9:17am
Jennifer
nope
9:18am
Bo
well that is fucking scary, but I'm glad you are okay. Both of you
9:18am
Jennifer
yeah
we are glad we have out lives and our passport secured too
we need your help
9:19am
Bo
sure, what do you need?
9:20am
Jennifer
wondering if you could loan us some money to get out ticket back home and to settle some outstanding bills here at the hotel
i will pay back immediately i get back home I promise
9:22am
Bo
how much do you guys need?
9:22am
Jennifer
700$ will be ok since some money has been wired to us earlier
just not enough to get us back home
but i dont if you could afford such at the moment?
9:24am
Bo
I really dont have that much money, but I can try to get something together, did you contact your folks?
9:24am
Jennifer
yeah
our parents sent the ones we have to us how much do you have on you now that can be wire to us via western union now?cos thats the way we recieve money earlier
9:26am [By now Bo figured out it was a scam, and NOT Jenn]
Bo
what hotel are you in?
9:27am
Jennifer
Sector Hotel
9:28am
Jennifer
are you helping us or not?
please talk to me
how much can you afford to loan and wire to me now?
9:29am
Bo
hold on
9:32am
Jennifer
hello
am still waiting !
9:32am
Bo
checking my bank account, hold on
9:33am
Jennifer
oh,ok
9:36am
Bo
setting up western union now, did you tell your mom you were robbed?
9:37am
Jennifer
yes
she sent some money too
how much can you afford now?
9:40am
Bo
I can only send $1000 at a time
9:40am
Jennifer
ok
9:42am
Bo
do you need more than that?
9:42am
Jennifer
no
9:42am
Bo
ok where do I send it?
im so worried for you
9:43am
Jennifer
to my name
9:44am
Bo
how much should I send?
9:44am
Jennifer
how much can you afford?
9:45am
Bo
i have plenty, over 10,000 in my account, so how much do you need to get home safe
9:45am
Jennifer
900$ will be ok
9:45am
Bo
are you sure thats enough?
9:45am
Jennifer
yes
which stage are you on the transfer?
9:46am
Bo
stage 2
9:46am
Jennifer
which page is that?
9:46am
Bo
im new at this, give me a minute
9:47am
Jennifer
but you should be able to see what is on the page
9:47am
Bo
I miss spending time with you
9:48am
Jennifer
which page are you?
whats on the page?
9:48am
Bo
it says defcon 4 at the top
does that help?
9:49am
Jennifer
what!
9:49am
Bo
I cant get it to work, I'm going to drop the money off at your parents house and let them wire it to you. okay?
please talk to me
9:50am
Jennifer
what happened
you not trying to help me
9:51am
Bo
I cant figure it out, bringing the money to your parents
9:51am
Jennifer
i dont know what you might be thinking
but you can do anything you like
you are not doing anything since just trying to waste my time
thinking this is a joke? right?
9:52am
Bo
No i really want to help you, but I cant get western union to work
9:53am
Jennifer
okthere is a way out
9:53am
Bo
what is it?
9:53am
Jennifer
can find an agent very close to youand you can wire it from there
9:54am
Bo
ok let me know where
9:55am
Jennifer
You can get this yourself on the western union home page
on the top you will see FIND AN AGENT
9:56am
Bo
oh ok
9:56am
Jennifer
click that and you will the nearest to you
9:56am
Bo
Do you still work at the day care?
9:57am
Jennifer
i work for Target
have you seen outlet very close to you now?
9:58am
Bo
yes I found one.I will drive there
9:58am
Jennifer
ok
9:58am
Bo
Should I call your ex husband?
9:58am
Jennifer
where is that?how long will it take to get there ?
9:59am
Bo
5 minutes
9:59am
Jennifer
do you have to go that lenght?
am with my husband
9:59am
Bo
should I call your ex husband?
9:59am
Jennifer
why do you have to call any other person
are you trying to expose me to the whole wordl?
10:00am
Bo
your first husband, he has a lot of money
Is your daughter with you? [Jenn doesn't have a daughter]
10:01am
Jennifer
please go and do this if you really wants to
10:01am
Bo
Okay I am going, is your daughter with you?
10:01am
Jennifer
when you are backdrop a note for me in my facebook inbox with the transfer detail for the pick up
have to go now
10:02am
Bo
wait wait!
10:02am
Jennifer
you have my name
incase you need an addressthis is the hotel address11 GILDEN STREETLONDONNW5 4AQ
10:03am
Bo
lets talk about the old times, how we used to take long walks in the park. Remember that time you got sick on the school bus and threw up on all the kids?
10:03am
Jennifer
UNITED KINGDOM
i will check back later to get the details
you are nut
10:04am
Bo
you smell like fresh flowers and rain drops!
10:04am
Jennifer
we should discuss that now that am in a messgo first
then we can talk better when am back home
thanks
10:05am
Bo
mmmm ok then we can get messy?I've never loved another woman the way I loved you
10:06am
Jennifer
please go now
10:06am
Bo
my life has really fallen apart since you left me
10:06am
Jennifer
please go noware you going now or not???
10:06am
Bo
yes I am going, but is there a chance we can get back together?
10:06am
Jennifer
you know for this i owe you a favour back
10:07am
Bo
i often sit for hours in the bath tub, with nothing but a can of peanut butter, crying about you
10:07am
Jennifer
maybe we sit and talk things overbut i will have to get back home first
10:07am
Bo
i'd like that
10:07am
Jennifer
please go now
10:08am
Bo
I have thought about ending my life at times. I just dont want to keep living without you
10:08am
Jennifer
you have the info with youright?
10:08am
Bo
i am empty on the insideI am yet to find another woman who will spit on my face when we do our love makings
do you remember?
10:09am
Jennifer
do you have the information with you?can you go now
please go
10:09am
Bo
make me believe you want me back. i need you
10:10am
Jennifer
am not saying a word again
10:10am
Bo
I will send any amount of money you want, but i want you back
10:10am
Jennifer
are you tormenting me?
go first
10:10am
Bo
are you tormenting me? I have been heart broken since you left
10:11am
Jennifer
PLEASE
10:11am
Bo
tell me you love me
PLEASEI knew it, you only want my money
I am going to kill myself
how could you do this to me?
we have 4 children together [They never even dated]
10:12am
Jennifer
I WILL ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME
ARE YOU GOING NOWOR NOT
IF YOU CANT HELP ME IN TIME OF NEEDHOW DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO YOU AFTER?
10:13am
Bo
just tell me you love me
do it now
10:14am
Jennifer
MY HUSBAND IS COMING NOW
OK
10:14am
Bo
all over you?
where is he coming?
10:14am
Jennifer
I LOVE YOU
WILL YOU DO THIS FOR ME NOW
10:14am
Bo
yes i will
I love you too
10:17am
Jennifer
OKARE GOING NOW?
DO YOU HAVE MY INFORMATION I SENT YOU?
HOW MUCH ARE YOU SENDING NOW?
ARE YOU THERE?
10:21am
Bo
Ok it should be sent
i sent 900 is that enough to get home?
hello?
are you ok?
10:24am
Jennifer
HELO
AM HERE
10:25am
Bo
is your husband there?
10:25am
Jennifer
YES
ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR ME OR MY HUSBAND?
10:26am
Bo
Does he pleasure you the same way i did?
do you love him more then me?
10:26am
Jennifer
ARE YOU BACK?
HOW MUCH ARE YOU SENDING?
10:27am
Bo
Answer me, DO YOU LOVE HIM MORE?
10:27am
Jennifer
NO
10:27am
Bo
DO YOU LOVE ME MORE?
10:27am
Jennifer
YOU ANSWER ME
10:27am
Bo
Who DO YOU LOVE MORE?
10:27am
Jennifer
ANSWER ME FIRST
10:28am
Bo
yes I am back, now tell me WHO DO YOU LOVE MORE?
10:28am
Jennifer
IF ITS BECAUSE OF YOUR MONEY YOU ARE ASKING ME ALL THIS
HAVE YOU DONE THIS
HAVE YOU SENT IT?
10:28am
Bo
You used to love when i did the shocker on you. Remember?
10:29am
Jennifer
HAVE YOU SENT IT
I WILL NOT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION AGAINUNTIL I HAVE THE DETAILS
THATS WHTA I WILL SHOW HIM
SO HE CAN GO OUT OF THIS ROOM
AND I CAN TALK TO YOU BEFORE HE RETURN BACK
10:30am
Bo
I am not going to send it untill you tell me you want a pearl necklace.
Say I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME A PEARL NECKLACE
10:30am
Jennifer
ITS YOUR MONEYYOU CAN HOLD IT
HAVE A NICE DAY
10:31am
Bo
NO WAIT
I want to help you
10:31am
Jennifer
THEN HELPME
INSTAED OF THE CONDITION
I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU TOO
10:31am
Bo
ok just tell me you want a pearl necklace, that all i want, just say it please
10:32am
Jennifer
WHY WOULD I SAY THAT???
10:32am
Bo
You know why,
JUST SAY IT
10:32am
Jennifer
I WANT A PEARL NECKLACE
10:32am
Bo
mmmmmmmmm yeah
What is my surprise?
10:33am
Jennifer
ARE YOU GIVING THE DETAILS NOW OR NEVER?
10:33am
Bo
I am leaving now to send you the money
tell me my surprise
10:33am
Jennifer
NO
YOU ARE A LIAR
10:34am
Bo
Do you even care if I live or die?
10:34am
Jennifer
YOU SAID YOU HAVE GONE
AND RETURNED
NOW YOU ARE JUST GOING
10:34am
Bo
You never even loved me did you?
10:34am
Jennifer
WHATEVER
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME
10:34am
Bo
I already sent the money, is that all you care about?
10:34am
Jennifer
NONONO
10:35am
Bo
So you still love me?
10:35am
Jennifer
BUT I NEED TO GIVE THAT TO MY HUSBAND HERE
TO GO AND GET THIS PICK UP
THEN HE COULD LEAVE THE ROOM
I WILL BE ALL ALONE HERE THEN
AND WE CAN TALK
10:35am
Bo
then we can cyber?
10:35am
Jennifer
I CAN SAY THINGS
BUT NOT WITH HIM HERE IN THE SAME ROOM
10:36am
Bo
but when he leaves we can cyber sex?
10:36am
Jennifer
I CAN DECIDE TO LOG OUT ON MY OWN
10:36am
Bo
mmmmm I love when you LOG OUT
10:36am
Jennifer
I CAN SEE YOU ARE JUST WASTING MY TIME
OKBYE
10:37am
Bo
But im sending a lot of money, the least you can do is cyber sex with me
10:37am
Jennifer
BYE
GO AND DIE WITH YOUR MONEY
10:37am
Bo
But I already sent it
10:37am
Jennifer
OH
YOU CAN GO THERE AND COLLECT IT BACK
10:38am
Bo
you dont need it?
10:38am
Jennifer
YES
10:38am
Bo
yes you dont?
10:38am
Jennifer
YESI DONT
10:39am
Bo
ok, but do you still love me?
like the olden days
10:39am
Jennifer
CAN YOU LEAVE ME PLEASE
YOU ARE A LOSER
10:39am
Bo
you want me to leave you alone?
10:39am
Jennifer
SIMPLY BECAUSE I ASKED FOR HELP
YOU THINK I SHOULD LOSE MY SENSES BECAUSE OF THAT
TO HELL WITH YOU
10:40am
Bo
no, I just want to give you a pearl necklace, you asked for it.
10:40am
Jennifer
DO YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE TALKING IN THE PRESENCE OF MY HUSBAND
10:41am
Bo
Sure, he can hop in the mix if he wants, you always were nasty like that.
Remember that time with my sister?
Hello? Remember that time with my sister?
10:42am
Jennifer
WHEN I STOPPED DISCUSSING WITH YOU
YOU WILL GO
10:43am
Bo
You are so mean to me
10:43am
Jennifer
YEAHI AM
AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE
10:44am
Bo
Why?
10:44am
Jennifer
IF YOU CONTINUE TREATING ME THIS WAY
MUST I TELL YOU I LOVE YOU IN THE PRESENCE OF MY HUSBAND
10:44am
Bo
Did you like the pearl necklace?
10:44am
Jennifer
DONT ASK ME ANYMORE QUESTION?
10:45am
Bo
is that a question?
10:45am
Jennifer
CAN I HAVE THE DETAILS?
I REALLY NEED THAT MONEY TO GET OUT OF HERE WITH MY HUSBAND
ARE YOU SENDING THEM OR NOT?
10:45am
Bo
mmm you want the juicy details?
10:46am
Jennifer
THIS IS THE LAST TIME AM GONNA ASK
10:46am
Bo
ok ok ill give you the details.
10:46am
Jennifer
JUST A MESSAGE FROM YOU WHICH IS NOT THE INFORMATION
OFF I GO
10:47am
Bo
The first thing I'm going to do is lay you on your back,mmmm
10:48am
Jennifer
WILL YOU SAY GOODBYE NOW
10:49am
Bo
I'll never say good bye, I love you forever
10:49am
Jennifer
COS AM REMOVING YOU FROM MY LIST NOW FOR GOOD
10:50am
Bo
But before i go, can i borrow some money?
10:50am
Jennifer
YOU ARE DISAPPOINTMENT
FROM ME OR WHO?
10:50am
Bo
you sound like my mother
10:50am
Jennifer
YOU ARE NUT
YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF EXAMINED
BYEBYE
10:51am
Bo
it's just nice to talk to someone. I dont get out of the house much
10:51am
Jennifer
BYE
10:51am
Bo
my pants are off
10:52am
Jennifer
TOR IN HELL
ROT IN HELL
10:52am
Bo
I dont know, TOR sounds like more fun
You don't have permission to chat with this person.
So can i borrow money or not?
To give you a bit of context, Jenn is a friend of ours from high school who I am vaguely in touch with (through Facebook) although we more or less lost touch, like most of the people I went to high school with (with the exception of a select few). Bo and her, both still living in Minneapolis, are still friends and in touch more often than she and I, but not super close.
I didn't want to edit the text, and it is from a chat, so bear with any spaces missing or misspellings, etc. This is just so damn funny I couldn't not post it on here.
The chat Bo had with whoever hacked Jenn's Facebook account:
Jennifer
hi
9:06am
Bo
Hey you!
9:06am
Jennifer
am in a mess
9:07am
Bo
what sort of mess?
9:09am
Jennifer
am stuck here in London
9:09am
Bo
well that's not so bad. How are you stuck?
9:10am
Jennifer
i was robbed in my hotel room
9:10am
Bo
scary
you ok?
9:11am
Jennifer
am ok
9:12am
Bo
they get your passport?
9:12am
Jennifer
nope am glad my passport is secure all my belongings including my wallet was stolen at gunpoint
9:13am
Bo
jesus, he came into your hotel?
9:14am
Jennifer
they came
4 of them
9:14am
Bo
Brits?
9:15am
Jennifer
dont know
but the police told us that they are russians
9:15am
Bo
are you alone there?
9:16am
Jennifer
am here with my husband
9:17am
Bo
neither of you hurt?
9:17am
Jennifer
nope
9:18am
Bo
well that is fucking scary, but I'm glad you are okay. Both of you
9:18am
Jennifer
yeah
we are glad we have out lives and our passport secured too
we need your help
9:19am
Bo
sure, what do you need?
9:20am
Jennifer
wondering if you could loan us some money to get out ticket back home and to settle some outstanding bills here at the hotel
i will pay back immediately i get back home I promise
9:22am
Bo
how much do you guys need?
9:22am
Jennifer
700$ will be ok since some money has been wired to us earlier
just not enough to get us back home
but i dont if you could afford such at the moment?
9:24am
Bo
I really dont have that much money, but I can try to get something together, did you contact your folks?
9:24am
Jennifer
yeah
our parents sent the ones we have to us how much do you have on you now that can be wire to us via western union now?cos thats the way we recieve money earlier
9:26am [By now Bo figured out it was a scam, and NOT Jenn]
Bo
what hotel are you in?
9:27am
Jennifer
Sector Hotel
9:28am
Jennifer
are you helping us or not?
please talk to me
how much can you afford to loan and wire to me now?
9:29am
Bo
hold on
9:32am
Jennifer
hello
am still waiting !
9:32am
Bo
checking my bank account, hold on
9:33am
Jennifer
oh,ok
9:36am
Bo
setting up western union now, did you tell your mom you were robbed?
9:37am
Jennifer
yes
she sent some money too
how much can you afford now?
9:40am
Bo
I can only send $1000 at a time
9:40am
Jennifer
ok
9:42am
Bo
do you need more than that?
9:42am
Jennifer
no
9:42am
Bo
ok where do I send it?
im so worried for you
9:43am
Jennifer
to my name
9:44am
Bo
how much should I send?
9:44am
Jennifer
how much can you afford?
9:45am
Bo
i have plenty, over 10,000 in my account, so how much do you need to get home safe
9:45am
Jennifer
900$ will be ok
9:45am
Bo
are you sure thats enough?
9:45am
Jennifer
yes
which stage are you on the transfer?
9:46am
Bo
stage 2
9:46am
Jennifer
which page is that?
9:46am
Bo
im new at this, give me a minute
9:47am
Jennifer
but you should be able to see what is on the page
9:47am
Bo
I miss spending time with you
9:48am
Jennifer
which page are you?
whats on the page?
9:48am
Bo
it says defcon 4 at the top
does that help?
9:49am
Jennifer
what!
9:49am
Bo
I cant get it to work, I'm going to drop the money off at your parents house and let them wire it to you. okay?
please talk to me
9:50am
Jennifer
what happened
you not trying to help me
9:51am
Bo
I cant figure it out, bringing the money to your parents
9:51am
Jennifer
i dont know what you might be thinking
but you can do anything you like
you are not doing anything since just trying to waste my time
thinking this is a joke? right?
9:52am
Bo
No i really want to help you, but I cant get western union to work
9:53am
Jennifer
okthere is a way out
9:53am
Bo
what is it?
9:53am
Jennifer
can find an agent very close to youand you can wire it from there
9:54am
Bo
ok let me know where
9:55am
Jennifer
You can get this yourself on the western union home page
on the top you will see FIND AN AGENT
9:56am
Bo
oh ok
9:56am
Jennifer
click that and you will the nearest to you
9:56am
Bo
Do you still work at the day care?
9:57am
Jennifer
i work for Target
have you seen outlet very close to you now?
9:58am
Bo
yes I found one.I will drive there
9:58am
Jennifer
ok
9:58am
Bo
Should I call your ex husband?
9:58am
Jennifer
where is that?how long will it take to get there ?
9:59am
Bo
5 minutes
9:59am
Jennifer
do you have to go that lenght?
am with my husband
9:59am
Bo
should I call your ex husband?
9:59am
Jennifer
why do you have to call any other person
are you trying to expose me to the whole wordl?
10:00am
Bo
your first husband, he has a lot of money
Is your daughter with you? [Jenn doesn't have a daughter]
10:01am
Jennifer
please go and do this if you really wants to
10:01am
Bo
Okay I am going, is your daughter with you?
10:01am
Jennifer
when you are backdrop a note for me in my facebook inbox with the transfer detail for the pick up
have to go now
10:02am
Bo
wait wait!
10:02am
Jennifer
you have my name
incase you need an addressthis is the hotel address11 GILDEN STREETLONDONNW5 4AQ
10:03am
Bo
lets talk about the old times, how we used to take long walks in the park. Remember that time you got sick on the school bus and threw up on all the kids?
10:03am
Jennifer
UNITED KINGDOM
i will check back later to get the details
you are nut
10:04am
Bo
you smell like fresh flowers and rain drops!
10:04am
Jennifer
we should discuss that now that am in a messgo first
then we can talk better when am back home
thanks
10:05am
Bo
mmmm ok then we can get messy?I've never loved another woman the way I loved you
10:06am
Jennifer
please go now
10:06am
Bo
my life has really fallen apart since you left me
10:06am
Jennifer
please go noware you going now or not???
10:06am
Bo
yes I am going, but is there a chance we can get back together?
10:06am
Jennifer
you know for this i owe you a favour back
10:07am
Bo
i often sit for hours in the bath tub, with nothing but a can of peanut butter, crying about you
10:07am
Jennifer
maybe we sit and talk things overbut i will have to get back home first
10:07am
Bo
i'd like that
10:07am
Jennifer
please go now
10:08am
Bo
I have thought about ending my life at times. I just dont want to keep living without you
10:08am
Jennifer
you have the info with youright?
10:08am
Bo
i am empty on the insideI am yet to find another woman who will spit on my face when we do our love makings
do you remember?
10:09am
Jennifer
do you have the information with you?can you go now
please go
10:09am
Bo
make me believe you want me back. i need you
10:10am
Jennifer
am not saying a word again
10:10am
Bo
I will send any amount of money you want, but i want you back
10:10am
Jennifer
are you tormenting me?
go first
10:10am
Bo
are you tormenting me? I have been heart broken since you left
10:11am
Jennifer
PLEASE
10:11am
Bo
tell me you love me
PLEASEI knew it, you only want my money
I am going to kill myself
how could you do this to me?
we have 4 children together [They never even dated]
10:12am
Jennifer
I WILL ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME
ARE YOU GOING NOWOR NOT
IF YOU CANT HELP ME IN TIME OF NEEDHOW DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO YOU AFTER?
10:13am
Bo
just tell me you love me
do it now
10:14am
Jennifer
MY HUSBAND IS COMING NOW
OK
10:14am
Bo
all over you?
where is he coming?
10:14am
Jennifer
I LOVE YOU
WILL YOU DO THIS FOR ME NOW
10:14am
Bo
yes i will
I love you too
10:17am
Jennifer
OKARE GOING NOW?
DO YOU HAVE MY INFORMATION I SENT YOU?
HOW MUCH ARE YOU SENDING NOW?
ARE YOU THERE?
10:21am
Bo
Ok it should be sent
i sent 900 is that enough to get home?
hello?
are you ok?
10:24am
Jennifer
HELO
AM HERE
10:25am
Bo
is your husband there?
10:25am
Jennifer
YES
ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR ME OR MY HUSBAND?
10:26am
Bo
Does he pleasure you the same way i did?
do you love him more then me?
10:26am
Jennifer
ARE YOU BACK?
HOW MUCH ARE YOU SENDING?
10:27am
Bo
Answer me, DO YOU LOVE HIM MORE?
10:27am
Jennifer
NO
10:27am
Bo
DO YOU LOVE ME MORE?
10:27am
Jennifer
YOU ANSWER ME
10:27am
Bo
Who DO YOU LOVE MORE?
10:27am
Jennifer
ANSWER ME FIRST
10:28am
Bo
yes I am back, now tell me WHO DO YOU LOVE MORE?
10:28am
Jennifer
IF ITS BECAUSE OF YOUR MONEY YOU ARE ASKING ME ALL THIS
HAVE YOU DONE THIS
HAVE YOU SENT IT?
10:28am
Bo
You used to love when i did the shocker on you. Remember?
10:29am
Jennifer
HAVE YOU SENT IT
I WILL NOT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION AGAINUNTIL I HAVE THE DETAILS
THATS WHTA I WILL SHOW HIM
SO HE CAN GO OUT OF THIS ROOM
AND I CAN TALK TO YOU BEFORE HE RETURN BACK
10:30am
Bo
I am not going to send it untill you tell me you want a pearl necklace.
Say I WANT YOU TO GIVE ME A PEARL NECKLACE
10:30am
Jennifer
ITS YOUR MONEYYOU CAN HOLD IT
HAVE A NICE DAY
10:31am
Bo
NO WAIT
I want to help you
10:31am
Jennifer
THEN HELPME
INSTAED OF THE CONDITION
I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU TOO
10:31am
Bo
ok just tell me you want a pearl necklace, that all i want, just say it please
10:32am
Jennifer
WHY WOULD I SAY THAT???
10:32am
Bo
You know why,
JUST SAY IT
10:32am
Jennifer
I WANT A PEARL NECKLACE
10:32am
Bo
mmmmmmmmm yeah
What is my surprise?
10:33am
Jennifer
ARE YOU GIVING THE DETAILS NOW OR NEVER?
10:33am
Bo
I am leaving now to send you the money
tell me my surprise
10:33am
Jennifer
NO
YOU ARE A LIAR
10:34am
Bo
Do you even care if I live or die?
10:34am
Jennifer
YOU SAID YOU HAVE GONE
AND RETURNED
NOW YOU ARE JUST GOING
10:34am
Bo
You never even loved me did you?
10:34am
Jennifer
WHATEVER
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME
10:34am
Bo
I already sent the money, is that all you care about?
10:34am
Jennifer
NONONO
10:35am
Bo
So you still love me?
10:35am
Jennifer
BUT I NEED TO GIVE THAT TO MY HUSBAND HERE
TO GO AND GET THIS PICK UP
THEN HE COULD LEAVE THE ROOM
I WILL BE ALL ALONE HERE THEN
AND WE CAN TALK
10:35am
Bo
then we can cyber?
10:35am
Jennifer
I CAN SAY THINGS
BUT NOT WITH HIM HERE IN THE SAME ROOM
10:36am
Bo
but when he leaves we can cyber sex?
10:36am
Jennifer
I CAN DECIDE TO LOG OUT ON MY OWN
10:36am
Bo
mmmmm I love when you LOG OUT
10:36am
Jennifer
I CAN SEE YOU ARE JUST WASTING MY TIME
OKBYE
10:37am
Bo
But im sending a lot of money, the least you can do is cyber sex with me
10:37am
Jennifer
BYE
GO AND DIE WITH YOUR MONEY
10:37am
Bo
But I already sent it
10:37am
Jennifer
OH
YOU CAN GO THERE AND COLLECT IT BACK
10:38am
Bo
you dont need it?
10:38am
Jennifer
YES
10:38am
Bo
yes you dont?
10:38am
Jennifer
YESI DONT
10:39am
Bo
ok, but do you still love me?
like the olden days
10:39am
Jennifer
CAN YOU LEAVE ME PLEASE
YOU ARE A LOSER
10:39am
Bo
you want me to leave you alone?
10:39am
Jennifer
SIMPLY BECAUSE I ASKED FOR HELP
YOU THINK I SHOULD LOSE MY SENSES BECAUSE OF THAT
TO HELL WITH YOU
10:40am
Bo
no, I just want to give you a pearl necklace, you asked for it.
10:40am
Jennifer
DO YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE TALKING IN THE PRESENCE OF MY HUSBAND
10:41am
Bo
Sure, he can hop in the mix if he wants, you always were nasty like that.
Remember that time with my sister?
Hello? Remember that time with my sister?
10:42am
Jennifer
WHEN I STOPPED DISCUSSING WITH YOU
YOU WILL GO
10:43am
Bo
You are so mean to me
10:43am
Jennifer
YEAHI AM
AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE
10:44am
Bo
Why?
10:44am
Jennifer
IF YOU CONTINUE TREATING ME THIS WAY
MUST I TELL YOU I LOVE YOU IN THE PRESENCE OF MY HUSBAND
10:44am
Bo
Did you like the pearl necklace?
10:44am
Jennifer
DONT ASK ME ANYMORE QUESTION?
10:45am
Bo
is that a question?
10:45am
Jennifer
CAN I HAVE THE DETAILS?
I REALLY NEED THAT MONEY TO GET OUT OF HERE WITH MY HUSBAND
ARE YOU SENDING THEM OR NOT?
10:45am
Bo
mmm you want the juicy details?
10:46am
Jennifer
THIS IS THE LAST TIME AM GONNA ASK
10:46am
Bo
ok ok ill give you the details.
10:46am
Jennifer
JUST A MESSAGE FROM YOU WHICH IS NOT THE INFORMATION
OFF I GO
10:47am
Bo
The first thing I'm going to do is lay you on your back,mmmm
10:48am
Jennifer
WILL YOU SAY GOODBYE NOW
10:49am
Bo
I'll never say good bye, I love you forever
10:49am
Jennifer
COS AM REMOVING YOU FROM MY LIST NOW FOR GOOD
10:50am
Bo
But before i go, can i borrow some money?
10:50am
Jennifer
YOU ARE DISAPPOINTMENT
FROM ME OR WHO?
10:50am
Bo
you sound like my mother
10:50am
Jennifer
YOU ARE NUT
YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF EXAMINED
BYEBYE
10:51am
Bo
it's just nice to talk to someone. I dont get out of the house much
10:51am
Jennifer
BYE
10:51am
Bo
my pants are off
10:52am
Jennifer
TOR IN HELL
ROT IN HELL
10:52am
Bo
I dont know, TOR sounds like more fun
You don't have permission to chat with this person.
So can i borrow money or not?
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