Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Be The Ball, Danny, Not a Fucktard.

Holy shit boys and girls!

Hi There!! Oh how I've missed you.

Where have you been? What’s that? Oh me? Well…

Along with the promotion at work, they expect a lot more effort (and even worse, more work) from me lately. I have to, like, do stuff. A lot of it.

(let me get this straight: I get paid a lot more, you want me to actually do more? I’d almost rather go back to the old way thank you very much)

On top of being busy with work I am in the process of moving. Sounds awesome, right? It’s not.

Not even a little bit.

I am currently staying with friends of mine in a spare bedroom that I literally cannot stand up in unless I am standing on my bed.

It’s a very tiny room in case you didn’t pick up on that point.

Lately I work all day (and really hard too, totally bullshit I know), then I leave work and go look for apartments with scummy brokers and people who lie about the size of their advertised apartment (btw, those two are NOT mutually exclusive).

In addition to that, I just had to write two articles for a magazine that a dear friend of mine publishes. She rules, the magazine rules too and I’m glad they are starting to print it again. But my creative juices (ick!) have been sapped lately by the lack of energy (work and apartment searching) and any remaining writingness (shut up, it is a word) I have in me has been going to crafting two of the most choice articles no one will ever read.

You want to know the worst part? I haven’t even been able to READ other blogs… I think my reader has like 1200 unreads in it. Sweet, I can’t wait to dive into that.

I haven’t been to the gym in like two weeks, I have no free time at work anymore, and I think I am beginning to re-develop a serious painkiller addiction.

Where am I?

I feel like I am in some weird time warp too (side note: How about freaking LOST? Too awesome and too long to get into now, but damn what an awesome show) where weeks are just peeling off the calendar. I can’t believe it’s the middle of February. I feel like Helmet Week was a few days ago.

(Ed Note: Three Weeks!?!? I just noticed my last post was January 23rd. I can't believe three weeks have gone by. Oh wow...)

Also, I think they are monitoring my Internet usage at work now. So… Hi there IT guys!!

Other than that, things have been going great!

Lately I have been thinking of incorporating a new word into my everyday vocabulary. Check that. I already use it, but I’m thinking of making it official: Fucktard.

As in, “dude, stop acting like such a Fucktard before I bitchslap you in front of everyone.”

What do you think? You like it?

If not you’re a Fucktard and I will slap you.


  1. I use fucktard frequently. i enjoy it.

  2. Fucktard is truly a choice word...glad you are still around!!

  3. People have said they use the "Mark all as read" button in their readers. I totally feel like I cheated when I do that. Kind of like when you're on a diet, and you're out a restaurant, and you decide to order 3 desserts for yourself. You cheated.

    Don't cheat UEb. Don't cheat. Please.

    Or else, you'd be a fucktard in my book.

  4. LMAO at the comment to the IT guys! I work for the government and often want to say HEY HEY there haha...

    Great BLOG!

  5. I give you permission to cheat- mark 'em all as read and be done with it. Seriously, if you need to cut back on some part of your life, it should really be your blog obligations (your blogbligations?) fucktard.

  6. I MISSED YOU!! Hi Ebenezer's IT Guys!


  7. Fucktard and asshat are two of my long time favorites.

    Good to have you back.

  8. Well, it's about time. Oh, how I've missed your sarcasm! Good luck on the apartment search. Glad you're back!

  9. You'd have more than enough to do if you didn't have a freakin' job.

  10. i must admit, i followed your blog simply for your usage of the word FUCKTARD! Good on ya!