Halloweenies

Yesterday was my birthday. We ended up going out to dinner after all at one of my favorite spots, Noodle Pudding. there were 8 of us in all and we had a great time. I am nursing a bit of a hangover today resulting from the mandatory 19 bottles of birthday dinner wine. But...


Today is Halloween.


Or as I like to call it "everyone gets drunk and chicks dress up really slutty" night.


I love this night. A whole night where women dress up as slutty everythings - slutty nurses, slutty teachers, slutty ghostbusters (yes, I've seen it), whatever - well that just rules. Which leads me to point out something I feel obligated to address that bothers me to no end.

Why on earth does it happen every year that, around this time, when girls are getting geared up to get dressed up even sluttier than normal and go out and actually act slutty, people start asking, "how come all the girls dress up so slutty every year? What's that about?"

Dude, what in the Fucking Christ is wrong with you people? Why in the name of all that is holy would you want to send some girl, who is planning to show me her tatas all night, questioning why she would do such a thing? I mean, what if when you ask, she starts to think about it? (we all know how dangerous women who think can be) And what if, god forbid, she thinks about it hard enough to decide she doesn't want to dress up slutty because the urge to dress slutty is only really about an issue with her low self-esteem related to her childhood issues with her dad and also that one time in college with that one guy and that maybe now she doesn't even think she wants to come home with me and listen to Air Supply or Lionel Richie (seriously baby, I have scented candles too) after the Halloween party?


Why?


Why would you do that?


Can't you leave well enough alone and just go with it?


We are talking about potentially seeing boobies and short skirts here. Those things are good. There is a (slutty) balance in the force. Do not upset this balance or you will suffer the furious wrath of my ninja fists to your neck. You've been warned. Enough with the questions.