Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving Tearfest

Well folks, I am leaving early tomorrow morning to fly to my sister's house in Colorado for Thanksgiving. Which means - not that anyone will care or even notice - I won't be writing anything on here until at least Monday. Given how infrequently I've been posting on here in the past two weeks or so, with work and the face thing having me so busy and bleeding and whatnot, I doubt that will be a problem for any of you. 

The good news is that when I do come back I should have something pretty interesting to write about. I guess there's a first time for everything. 

Thanksgiving with my dysfunctional family is always, um... interesting to say the least. And by interesting I mean stressful and awkward. For the past few years both of my (divorced) parents have made it a habit to tell my sister she is hosting and then they both come to the "neutral ground" along with the rest of the family to celebrate as a family and to help us all remind ourselves and one another why we all live in different states; and why all of their kids left Minneapolis immediately after high school (and for those of you who don't already know, Minneapolis is cool as hell, it's probably my crazy parents that made us all leave in case that wasn't clear.)

For the past three years we have been doing Thanksgiving at my sister's place. Which for a number of reason is great: My sister is fucking awesome, so are my brothers, and even my parents, I get to see just about my whole family (although this year no older brother and fam, bummer) nephews, nieces and all, and I get to hang out with my parents for finite period of time. All good stuff.

While everyone has a tradition at holidays like this, my family's tradition is more fun than most. Every year at thanksgiving at least two people end up fighting with one another and consequently in tears - sobbing, I mean. Kind of crying is not what goes on here.

To make an uncomfortable and awkward situation even more fun my sister and I have, for the past two years, placed bets on who will be the first one to cry at the table. As well, we bet on who will be the first one to yell something horribly obscene at another family member. 

This year we have some additional players: partner, aunt, cousin, and fiance all of whom should only add to the already fantastic tension. I can't wait. There might even be crying before the turkey is done cooking. 

Which means I am totally gonna win some money from my sister this year. Hooray for dysfunction and gambling. 

Everybody please send me some good travel vibes, I have to try and fight NYC/Long Island traffic to get to the airport tomorrow morning and then deal with flying out of a busy and already slow and super lame airport. 

Have a great Turkey Thursday; eat until you're dizzy and take no prisoners!


  1. Reading that reminded me of watching Home for the Holidays. It sounds like an effing blast...can I please place bets too!!

  2. Jossie - You can place bets if I can hang out with your dad's moustache. I'd bet on my little brother this year. Unfortunately, he seems the most stressed out at the moment. Although the Aunt who just finished rehab is my sleeper pick.

  3. Oh no! This sounds horrible...but I'm sure you're gonna have a great, great time.

  4. I remember a time when things ended up in sob-fests at my house. Luckily, the major culprit is no longer around. Heh.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  5. HBee - Yes it was actually really great. Thanks.

    Deulitch - Things may be turning around here as well. Stay tuned for the update.

    BWP - Family is awesome, but bets are mostly only awesome if and when you win and are able to laugh at others' misfortune.

  6. That is hilarious! We had our first divorced-parents-joint-thanksgiving. At 7:29, my mom yelled at my dad for making more cranberry margaritas. I said, "This is why the marriage failed." My brother yelled, "Yes! I win! Before 7:30!" I said, "You bet someone would say, "this is why the marriage failed before 7:30?" And he said, "No, I bet YOU would."

    Good times.

  7. RB - I bet on you too. I needed a safety bet in case I lost in my family's pool. Which I did.