Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I'm kind of a big deal... People know me... Um...I'm very important... I have many leatherbound books

I don't want to work anymore.

Not like here, because I actually have a sweet job that, as far as jobs go, is great. I work with amazing people, I have the best boss I have ever worked for, and my job isn't terribly difficult or stressful most of the time* (as you can tell from the amount of time I spend on here). I'm just saying, the ideal career path for me is Lottery Winner.

I mean that I don't want to work at all anymore. Ever. I don't want to exert any amount of effort doing anything that isn't completely pleasurable or fun.

I want to be extremely rich and have the freedom to do anything. Or nothing. I want to have tons of money without all that "hard work" hoo-haw that often accompanies such a thing. I just want to have all that money to allow myself to go wherever I want, do whatever I want and to be comfortable enough not to worry about what I am spending my money on (like now, how I have to worry about stupid bills and stuff).

Now, I talk about this often and inevitably someone will say, as I am lamenting about how I dislike waking up before noon and having to "work" all the time at my not-that-difficult job, something like, "Oh, but I bet you'd get bored."

No. Trust me, I wouldn't.

I would be extremely content to wake up late everyday, have some breakfast, maybe work out, read a book, watch TV make sure the interweb is still there... Or just hop on a plane to a beach or to some insane mountain paradise whenever I started to feel the slightest inkling of being bored.

Trust me; bored I would not soon become.

Other times people will say, "You wouldn't work? Oh, I bet eventually (when you get bored) you'd volunteer."

Um, remember I said I wanted to have a shitload of money?

Volunteer? People with money donate, they don't volunteer. Volunteering is for people who aren't drinking tropical drinks out of a coconut on a beach somewhere before they head off on a ski trip in South America the next day. Volunteer, pffft, how about I volunteer to write you a big check?

I am not so materialistic as this may sound, I am just really averse to working hard at anything. I guess some people might call that laziness, but I feel like I am just being ambitious about chasing the dream of not working hard.

(And actually I have like 12 days off starting tomorrow, which I am ridiculously psyched about. I plan no going on a massive bender. Helmets will be required.)

I know if I found something I was super passionate about and could make that my career, I would do it, and it wouldn't necessarily feel like work. But I don't know what that is right now. I don't know what would drive me like that at this point. And frankly, I have done that sort of thing with my life (see: following that wacky Phish band, skiing) and that idea shifts and seems to change every few years. Which professionally is rough, because once I became established at something, I would feel that urge to change gears again.

I am sort of lost right now about who I want to be and what I want to do in life. I had a near breakdown about this while issue a few months ago, and almost lost my marbles. I need to figure it out, and find the direction I am passionate about so that I have a way to point myself in. You know, in case the whole getting rich without working thing doesn't pan out soon.

Any ideas?

*I literally got pulled into my bosses office and promoted (for the second time in two months) halfway through writing that sentence. WTF? Am I that awesome? Clearly the answer is yes.


  1. What is your fascination with helmets? Should I bring my own for February or do you happen to have enough to share? Really I'm a bit worried about it now.

    You are only awesome half the time.

  2. It's hard to give you advice without knowing you. I'm not sure how old you are but I can say that I really went through this in my early - mid 20s. Now I'm 30 and have given up. Something to look forward to!

  3. I would also like to be stupid rich and donate...not volunteer. Phish tour was always awesome.

  4. Your calling in life is clearly to run a party service offering an array of helmet-worthy, unconventional extreme sport activities to really stressed out, anxious people who may-or-may-not also be on the verge of completely losing their marbles.

    For example, you'll knock on my door and say, "RB, get your bike helmet. We're doing shots and going stroller-surfing with the organic, pretentious mommy-bloggers on 5th avenue." Ultimately, you can charge for this, but I can be your test-case in exchange for letting you drunk dial my dad.

  5. Yay for the promotion! I totally feel you on everything else. I'm sick of stressing over money, jobs, bills, work, the future, stressing over stress. If I was rich and didn't HAVE to do do anything then I can FULLY enjoy every aspect that this life has to offer. Which sounds way more fun and worth it than working the rest of my life and worrying about what I'm going to do to make money. Yep...(in the Hank Hill voice).

  6. I could have written that post (except for the whole getting promoted thing, I have not ben promoted today). And I have, like, at least 34 leather bound books. At least. Or none. Whatevs.

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. What!! 12 days off! No fair! Am I the only person that works for a company that does NOT close for 2 weeks at Christmas time? I should not complain though, I mean I do get Christams and New Years off.

  9. You get promoted mid-bitching about working and writing a blog post? And you get 12 days off?

    My friend, stay right where you are! You're doing something right.

  10. Jossie - Not a fascination, they are necessary around me sometimes. And really? Half the time? Only the good half!

    Regardez Moi - I am 28, but roughly equivalent to a 15 year old. I will not give up my dream of being rich and lazy. Quitters never win.

    Grand Wave - Dude if you come up with a plan do to so, please share it with me.

    RB - That is such a good idea. You bring the helmets and booze, I'll bring the shot glasses and the stroller. I'm so not kidding.

    Zen - Totally. Working is only cool because it comes with a check. I would rather just get the check and not do all the waking up and working.

    Punchline - Yeah, but I DID write. You can repost it as your own for a huge fee though (I'm so close to being rich).

    LBluca - Actually, we're not closed, I just have vacation days to use and I don't want to work. Yes, I rule.

    DWP - I know dude, how awesome was that? I was not exaggerating either - that happened during writing that sentence. I was shocked too.

  11. if you are a professional lottery winner, can i be your trophy wife? i will waste a lot of your money and be very entertaining, i promise.

    congratulations on your promotion dude!!

  12. When my alarm went off on Tuesday morning, I turned it off... for TWO WEEKS. So, so beautiful. And I hear you completely... I would NEVER, EVER get bored. I would just take off for New Zealand, Iceland, or Nepal for a month. And it would be fabulous.

    Happy holidays, and congrats on the promotion! Now there's an xmas present.

  13. we are twins.

    Julie Gong ideal job = lottery winner.