Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Looks Like We Made It...

Holy shit I did it! I made it (almost)! I am this much closer to being famous (well, more than I already am). Someone found my blog though a search engine. Yep, that's right. Not just anyone gets mentioned on those things, you know.

I know I owe you the story of the drunk teamster and who called me a fruitcake and whose best friend invented something you're using right now. But I have to share something else with you first. Something awesome.

(And honestly the teamster story isn't really even that interesting.)

I just recently started to keep track of the stats on this blog; sorry if that freaks you out. But because you and I have always been about having an open, honest relationship, you should know that every time you view this blog I get your home address, telephone number, social security number, naked pictures, etc.

Or, you know, I can see that "someone" viewed it.

(so feel free to email me those naked pictures)

I can also see where that viewer was referred from or if they found me in a search engine. Since I began checking the stats about viewers I have had exactly one person find us here through a search engine.

It was some search engine called "Google."

Yeah, I've never heard of it either.

But dude, you're getting boring. I thought you said something about awesomeness? Well, how's this for awesome?

Anybody want to guess what that person typed in to Google to find this blog? C'mon go ahead...

Give up?

"Jizz Hut"

I shit you not, the one person who has ever found If Your Feet Aren't on the Ground through something other than another blog, or 20sb, or their own reader or whatever, typed in "Jizz Hut" and landed here.

My first reaction was, "awesome, someone new found my blog. And through Google no less. I really am on the road to becoming famous."

I make fun of myself for being immature and having an inappropriate sense of humor. But the fact that someone actually typed in "Jizz Hut" and was directed to this blog is fucking awesome.

I totally win.

Actually just the fact that someone typed "Jizz Hut" into their Google search bar is funny enough.

Jizz Hut? Why here?

And then there's the obvious thought. Who is searching the Internet for Jizz Hut and why? ...Actually I don't think I want to know.

Is Jizz Hut like Pizza Hut?

Well, no, it isn't. I Googled it myself (just now actually, probably shouldn't have done that from work) to see if I came (heehee) up, and it turns out that Jizz Hut is an adult website.

It's probably pretty classy too, with a name like that.

And class is what we've always been all about here.

Jizz Hut... Man, I rule.


  1. ahahaha;lsdjf;lkj. Great.

    I just checked my 'keywords' (yes, I too, track the stats on my blog) and saw that someone came to my sight after typing "gods weirdest rocketship" into google. Hm.

  2. Okay. So I dug a little deeper into my keywords and also found these:

    vagina cleanning
    finest ass

    i should check this thing more often...

  3. I hope you realize you asked for naked pictures and you didn't specify a gender from which you would like to receive said naked pictures. That's all I'm saying.

  4. Everyone finds my blog from my Liger post. I had no idea that was gonna be the post that drives most of my traffic. It's not even one of my favs. Oh well, whatever gets people here, I guess!

  5. Regardez Moi - At least it wasn't "rocketship vagina cleaning."

    Grand Wave - I don't discriminate (note: yes I do. No naked dude pics, please).

    Zen - Yeah, but "Jizz Hut." I sure hope that isn't my legacy.

  6. ... wait, this isn't the jizz hut? what the hell is my $39.99 membership fee going to every month then???

    ... and furthermore, if this is not a porn recruitment site, what the hell do you DO with the nudey pics I submit daily?

  7. You know I don't give up naked booby pics without something awesome in return.

    So what are you giving me jizz hut?

  8. Jizz hut is pretty awesome, but I'll see your jizz hut and raise you a "farted in my rectal exam" .. yeah, I kind of know why that led someone to my site, but not really.

    AND! AND! One whole person visited The Dot because of YOU my friend. I totally owe you some cyber action ;)

  9. Jizz Hut ... you definitely win, haha. Here are some of mine:

    Awkward pauses in conversation
    sex-booty call

  10. Dude... that whole tracking shit wigs me the hell out.

    I keep worrying someone's going to figure out where I work and then Dooce me. Which would fucking suck assholes.

  11. Beth - I really need that $39.99, please continue to send it along with the boobie pictures (seriously, I would love some of those).

    Jossie - How about some smokin' hot mullet pics?

    Muse - All in. Waiting on some steamy cyber action now...

    DWP - As opposed to a non-sex booty call?

    Deutlich - I already know where you work. In fact, I'm watching you right now and breathing heavily.

  12. No go buddy, I've already seen those. I need something more original.

    And lets be honest, they were not sexy.

  13. I get a lot of traffic for "tits" and "do thirteen year old girls like penis". Seriously. That actually happened.