Friday, December 19, 2008

I'm in a Glass Case of Emotion

I lost a good friend yesterday in an avalanche. I have been back and forth about whether or not to even mention it here, I don't want to make it super public or feel like I am exploiting him by writing about it, but I wanted to let you know why I wasn't writing much lately and I feel like I need to get this out. Technically, they haven't found his body yet, they may not find it until spring when the snow melts. It was a huge slide - a five foot crown that stretched about 40 feet. Those of you who know about snow science and avalanches know a five foot shelf is big.

My friend was a guy who never got a pass to the ski area and rode almost exclusively in the backcountry. Maybe he wasn't the most cautious guy ever, but he seemed to always have a grip on what he was getting into. So why was he out after getting three feet of snow in less than a week? "Well, you know ____" is all anyone can say. That's just how he did things.

He left on Wednesday morning to go ride a chute that sees a fair amount of backcountry traffic, albeit not lately with the storm cycle they've been in. Yesterday, when he hadn't yet returned people went to check his house, check the trailhead... He hadn't come back and his bike was still out there, where he had left it. Search and Rescue said they think they found the spot on the top of the chute where he dropped in, and just below that a huge fracture from the avalanche he most likely triggered. S&R, along with most of my friends, including my old roommates, are going out today to try and find his body.

I am crushed. The only thing I keep trying to tell myself is that he sucked every ounce of life out the time he had here. Homeboy made every day count and had more fun than anyone else doing it. He really enjoyed every day and did what made him happy. Always. He didn't have a big bank account, he didn't have a serious career, but he was a professional at enjoying what life and the outdoors had to offer. This was the guy you could always count on to be a partner in crime when you needed him to be; to climb a mountain in June to ski a 60 foot snow path that hadn't melted; to go to the bar and shithoused on a Monday night when you needed to do it. In short, he was just always there for anyone, anytime, and he loved it - no matter what it was. But no matter how much I tell myself that he enjoyed life and got a lot out of it, it still really tough to think that he won't get to do any of that stuff again, and he got shorted on a lot of years.

When he lived on our couch (for like 6 months) he and I would stay up every night, drink like 10-15 beers each - sometimes we would see who could slam a whole bottle faster, fun times that "adults" don't normally have on a regular basis outside a fraternity - and watch Anchorman. So I am going to put up a clip this week with some Anchorman moments for him. I know he would appreciate this, he's kind of a big deal.


14 comments:

  1. I am so sorry. I can't imagine losing a friend like that- or how you must be feeling. That just f*cking sucks.

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  2. That's awful and I'm so sorry to hear it. I don't know you or your friend personally, but you're both in my thoughts today.

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  3. I am very sorry for your loss. Hold on to those good times.

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  4. In lieu of appropriately worded sensitivity, which arguably would be hard to convey via a comment on your blog, I want to say:

    TBS is showing Anchorman at 9pm tonight. I'm a BIG believer that there are no coincidences.

    Be well.

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  5. So sorry to hear about this, man.

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  6. virtual hug.

    i'm really really sorry. hang in there.

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  7. I lost a friend earlier this year and it's still fresh in my mind, so I know how you feel. It's so fucking hard. I'm really, really sorry.

    <3 sending virtual hugs your way

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  8. Oh, I am so sorry.

    At least, as you said, you can take solace in the fact that he lived each day to the fullest. In the end, that's really all we can ask for, no?

    My heart goes out to you and his family and friends.

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  9. Much much love.....in the same boat myself. Hang in there.

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  10. I'm so sorry. It's always difficult to get through times like this, especially through the Holidays. (My grandpa died Thanksgiving morning last year). I know there's not much that can be said to make the situation any better, but I agree with RB, that there are no coincidences. I'm glad she pointed out Anchorman was on Tv tonight, because I saw your post earlier today but didn't know what kind of comment to leave, so I didn't say anything. When I across the movie on Tv, I kept it on and watched it. You were both in my thoughts. <3

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  11. So sorry to hear about your friend. I think you did him right in this post...

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  12. Oh..no.. My heart goes out to you, his family and friends.

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  13. "Brick, come hug me, you know you want to."


    I'm sorry to hear about your loss. :( Sending love, good thoughts, and prayers your way.

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